This Is How You Run from Monsters

1. Open your eyes. I know you don’t want to. Remember, sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. This is one of those times. Open your eyes. 

2. Breathe. You were so smart to hide. Under your bed was perfect. 

3. Move to the door. Open it a little. What do you see? Is it too dark in the hall? The curtains are open. You’re able to see by moonlight. I’m so glad you have such good eyesight. You’ve never needed glasses. Do you see the phone? Find the phone. Aren’t you happy now that we never replaced it? Yellow turns out to be a useful color now. 

4. Listen. Try to quiet your breathing. You need to concentrate on what’s going on out in the living room. Do you hear them? Or are they gone? Wait for a long time before you move at all. Sing “Twinkle, Twinkle” in your head three times. You were just learning that on the violin. I know you know it! Can you sit criss-cross applesauce for me? Keep your knees still. Pretend you’re a little Buddha, meditating. Listen with your whole body. Sometimes we hear things on our skin. Do you sense anything breathing or moving? 

5. Now, I want you to get to all fours as quietly as you can. Even quieter than that. Look for the phone. Pretend you’re a baby jaguar. Walk on all fours, perfectly silent, toward that phone. 

6. Don’t look at anything other than that phone. The cord is piled on the floor, so don’t get tangled in it. I need you to get to that phone without looking around. There will be monsters out there, but they won’t bother you if you don’t look at them. They won’t take shape unless you look. And you don’t want to look, because that means you’re not looking at the phone. You need to get to that phone. 

7. Are you moving? Good girl. I know it’s hard, but maybe it’s better that it’s so dark. Remember, they’re harmless if you don’t look. 

8. What are the monsters? Sweetheart, what a big question for such a big girl. Well, these men came to our house looking for stuff. They weren’t looking for us. They wanted our TV and our VCR and yes! Your Walkman. And all Mommy and Daddy’s tapes and Mommy’s jewelry. They just wanted our stuff. You’re learning about carnivores and herbivores and omnivores, right? Well, these guys, I think, are kind of like omnivores. Imagine you’re an animal sniffing around for some food in the forest, but something scares you. And you look up, and it’s a big thing that is going to keep you from your food. You’re an animal, and you’re not thinking straight because you’re so hungry. So you get scared and attack. You don’t know what you’re doing, other than trying to keep the food for yourself. I think these men are like that, baby. I don’t think they meant to hurt us. I think they got scared when Daddy came out with a baseball bat. Honey, people get scared and angry sometimes. And sometimes they turn into monsters.